I lived much of my life under a silent weight — a fog that I couldn’t name until adulthood. Looking back, I now know that what I experienced as a child wasn’t just shyness, or moodiness, or “being sensitive.” It was depression. But as a child, I didn’t have the words or understanding for it. I simply carried on, like so many others do.
Discovering Childhood Depression in Adulthood
It wasn’t until my adult years — well into my 30s — that I began to connect the dots. The low self-worth, the constant feeling of being out of place, the emotional numbness or sadness that I couldn’t explain — all of it had roots going back to childhood. Realizing this wasn’t easy. In fact, it was painful. But it was also the beginning of healing.
I had to grieve the child I was — the one who didn’t get the help they needed. And then I had to become the adult who would finally give that inner child compassion, care, and attention.
Depression in My Forties: Still There, But Different
Even in my forties, depression hasn’t magically disappeared. But I see it differently now. I no longer see it as a personal flaw or weakness. I see it as something I live with — not something that defines me.
I’ve worked hard to build tools to support myself:
Therapy gave me language, insight, and a safe space to unpack years of internalized pain.
Routine helped me add stability to my days — simple things like morning walks, regular meals, and sleep hygiene made a big difference.
Journaling became a powerful way for me to track my emotions and notice patterns.
Community — even a small, trusted circle — helped me feel less alone.
What “Overcoming” Means to Me
Some people think “overcoming depression” means you never feel it again. For me, it means I’ve learned to face it without fear or shame. It means I can recognize the signs earlier. I can reach for support. I don’t isolate the way I once did.
Most importantly, it means I no longer silence the younger version of myself. I listen to them. I care for them. I give them what they didn’t have back then — understanding.
A Message to Others
If you’ve carried invisible wounds from childhood, or if you’re still struggling in adulthood, know this: your pain is valid, even if it’s old. You are not too late to heal. The fact that you’re still here — still searching, still trying — is a sign of your strength.
You don’t have to “conquer” depression to live a meaningful life. You just need to keep going. Healing is not a straight line, but it is always possible.
